When the time comes, I want to be a very, very old woman. Wrinkled and worn, with white hair all over my head, and a lot of stories to tell.

I never really thought about this before. Sometimes I thought about how I was going to be when I grew older. I never felt very good about it. If I didn’t like myself then, when I imagined how was I going to be as an elder man it was worse. I thought of myself tired of living, glad of having a good family and maybe children, but essentially I was unhappy. Spent. Broken. So I didn’t think much about it. I just lived the day and didn’t look at the days to come.

I mean, it wasn’t everything that bad. But I saw it as the last years of a life that was never mine.

Now I know I’ll never have that kind of family. Even though there was a possibility of preserving some sperm, we decided not to do it, because we’re not exactly that young, and it would be risky for my girlfriend to get pregnant in a not-so-near future. Maybe some day we will adopt, but that’s not clear yet.

But now I have a different kind of family.

I have my loving girlfriend, who is the person I love most in the world. And with her I want to grow old, wrapped in her arms.

And I have you, my friends. Some of you I’ve known for years. Some of you I’ve just met. But you’re the most loving family I could wish for.

I love you all, guys. You make me feel like I belong to the best family in the world.

And I want to grow old with you.

2 thoughts on “Belonging…

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